On this delightful Father’s Day, let us embrace the opportunity to celebrate the exceptional fathers who have graced our lives and showered us with their love and guidance. While visiting the Carson Farmer’s Market to indulge in our favorite fruits and vegetables is a wonderful plan, let’s explore some additional ideas to make this day truly memorable. If your mind needs a little inspiration, I have several suggestions for you.
If your parents reside within reachable distance, consider inviting them over for a delightful barbecue, featuring all of dad’s favorite foods. This gathering will provide an ideal setting for creating cherished memories and enjoying quality time together. You could also surprise him by purchasing a thoughtful Father’s Day card or sending a heartfelt Jacquie Lawson e-card, adding a touch of creativity to your expression of love and appreciation.
First and foremost, let us recognize that we cannot predict the future. We never know when we might spend our last Father’s Day with our beloved dads. Reflecting on a personal experience, in the spring of 1998, my father’s cardiologist delivered a sobering prognosis, revealing that he needed heart valve replacements within six months to avoid a fatal outcome. Taking a risk, my father underwent the operation, which proved successful, yet his recovery presented numerous challenges. Unfortunately, just sixteen days later, he suffered a stroke and passed away within hours.
Fourteen months after this loss, I found myself engrossed in a laborious task. I spent five weeks toiling in the summer heat, meticulously cleaning the engine compartment of my prized possession—a vibrant red 1964 Olds Cutlass convertible, equipped with a four-speed stick and a Posi traction rear end. Every bolt, nut, and washer received a fresh coat of factory black paint. The culmination of my efforts came when my friend Ed assisted me in installing a rebuilt 462 cubic inch Olds engine, painted in its original gold hue. After a couple of failed attempts, the mighty engine roared to life. We ran it at 2,500 rpms for thirty minutes, adhering to the break-in ritual. Overwhelmed with excitement, the following morning, I instinctively reached for the phone, ready to share the incredible news with my dad. It was in that moment, my elation was abruptly replaced with a poignant realization—I had completely forgotten about his passing fourteen months prior.
To ensure that we capture all the wisdom and stories from our fathers, I encourage you to jot down your questions on paper or your electronic device. By doing so, you prevent the risk of forgetting important inquiries. Consider arranging for an audio or video recording of your dad’s answers, transforming this interaction into a priceless gift for future generations.
Secondly, let us resolve to spend more quality time with our fathers. In May 2018, my eldest daughter, Kathy, surprised me with an extraordinary early Father’s Day gift. She presented me with two rightfield box seat tickets to watch the Boston Red Sox play against the Seattle Mariners at Fenway Park. We embarked on a memorable journey, riding the “T” from Wonderland Station in Revere to Kenmore Square, before walking to the iconic ballpark. Our day was filled with the complete ballpark experience—enjoying beers, relishing hot dogs, singing “Sweet Caroline” during the seventh-inning stretch, and enthusiastically cheering for the Sox, even though they didn’t emerge victorious. Spending those eight unforgettable hours with my first-born daughter was simply priceless.
Thirdly, consider giving the gift of yourself. Instead of purchasing a card for Father’s Day, take a pen and paper or your laptop, and pour your heart into a positive letter to your dad. Use this opportunity to express deep, loving thoughts that you may have never shared before. Allow your
innermost tenderness to flow onto the page. As you read your heartfelt letter aloud, your father may find himself reaching for a tissue to wipe away the tears of joy that such a precious gesture evokes.
Here’s a suggestion to help you get started: “Dear Dad, this Father’s Day, I want to present you with a gift that you have never received from me until now.”
Think back to your childhood when you were learning to ride a two-wheel bike. You had training wheels initially, but then you decided to become a “big kid” and ride without them. Your father, with a warm smile, fetched a crescent wrench from his toolbox. Swiftly, he removed the training wheels, preparing you for this significant milestone. Positioned beside the rear wheel, he steadied your bike as you mounted the seat and placed your feet on the pedals. He said, “Alright, start pedaling.” As you pedaled, your father walked beside you, holding onto the bike with a firm grip. As you gained speed, he began to jog alongside you.
At a certain point, perhaps unbeknownst to you, your dad let go of the bike, allowing you to experience the exhilarating sensation of “free flight.” You were soaring, thinking that he was still by your side, ensuring your stability. It felt akin to the moments in your mother’s womb before your birth—unencumbered by worries or responsibilities. Eventually, you noticed that your dad had released his hold on your bike, and you realized you were on your own, much like a bird taking its first flight. As you approached the end of the street, you executed your first gentle turn, only to witness your parents cheering with unabashed pride as you rode back towards them.
Lastly, let us release the burdens of past grievances and negativity. When we let go of the weight of negative experiences, we liberate ourselves from the destructive power of negative energy. Pointing an accusatory finger at others results in three fingers pointing back at ourselves—a three-to-one ratio of blame. Forgiving others is an act of self-liberation. By choosing to be the bigger person and embracing forgiveness, we free ourselves from the shackles of resentment.
In my own life, I received a devastating phone call on Friday, April 22, 2022. My daughter, Kathy, shared the heartbreaking news that my grandson, Justin, had tragically fallen down a flight of stairs while alone at his father’s house. He had passed away several hours before his father discovered him. Immediately, my mind was consumed by a whirlwind of thoughts—did he die instantly? Did he suffer? What led to this tragic event? The year 2022 marked a Father’s Day filled with immeasurable sorrow. The loss of Justin, at only 33 years old, was a painful reminder of the moments he would never get to experience—graduations, marriages, becoming a parent, and all the joys that lie ahead.
A celebration of Justin’s life took place on Saturday, June 11, 2022, at the Ipswich Ale Brewery in Ipswich. I flew to Massachusetts to attend, and my ex-wife, Alice, suggested that we arrive together, presenting a united front for Justin’s father. Despite our shared negative experiences with him, we have managed to let go of the past and cultivate a friendship. In fact, every time I return to Massachusetts, I invite Alice to brunch, cherishing our newfound connection. This gathering at the brewery was a heartfelt tribute, allowing us to reconnect with relatives we hadn’t seen in fifty years and celebrate Justin’s life in a meaningful way.
In two months, if all goes as planned, I will return to Massachusetts on August 13 to visit my daughter, Matt, her husband,
Alice, and my dear friends from high school. These moments are cherished, for none of us knows when it may be the last time we have the privilege of seeing one another. Let us treasure every Father’s Day, embracing the time we have with those we hold dear. (And, if fate allows, I hope to join Kathy in witnessing the Sox take on “The Evil Empire” at Fenway Park on the 13th. Besides their peculiar Bostonian dialect, their two favorite teams are the Sox and whoever opposes the Yankees!)
So, on this joyous Father’s Day, let us honor and celebrate all fathers, grandfathers, great-grandfathers, and even great-great-grandfathers who grace our lives. Each one of them is a pillar of strength and love, deserving of our heartfelt gratitude. Happy Father’s Day to every father who stands tall, embracing the precious gift of fatherhood.
